That so called why me

You know a person has to walk across that knife edge at least once in his life time .It seems as if I just miss that one step I ll have a big fall but if I continue walking on that knife it hurts real bad. And then if I keep going further the edge becomes thinner and I feel that the pain will deepen, it’ll worsen and the traces will remain, these traces will tear me apart from my friends, my family and whoever I care about.
This kind of pain to endure is beyond my capacitance, but I feel I am driving myself crazy by living on self pity and denial.
To feel what I feel too hear what I hear to see what I see would be accepted if I was born in another situation, it would have been understood, it would have been justified it would have been supported, but nevertheless its my fault, to be what I am, maybe acceptance is what I search maybe answers are next. Why and how, that’s what comes to my mind, this godforsaken sickness in my mind to be driven away, for I can give it time, time for this scar to heal to dry then to whether away.

Is it ok to be different, not every apple from the orchard looks the same maybe it’ll be big or it might be small or it must be the shiniest of the lot, or it might be just this rotten piece of nothing. We all are different but can this difference be categorized into normal and abnormal, what defines these two, and when does this abnormality become extraordinary, sometimes this so called abnormality can be the greatest weapon that the individual has. The things that we teens term ‘wierd’ is possessed by the individual for some purpose I believe it has some mission.
Its always seen that this abnormality is usually feared if its unknown, or un witnessed but why don’t people understand what that individual fears, his fear is that his abnormality will be witnessed it’ll be disclosed and he will be hated. All I know is that I am not perfect and to be perfect it’ll be unreal, and being unreal is abnormal.
All I spoke about was the fear and the anxiousness, the uncertainty that one faces when he realizes his abnormality.
This has phases first is that of denial, then its that of pain and sorrow, then theres loneliness, then there’s the self acceptance, then there is release also termed as ‘coming out of the closet’, then it ends with the step of acceptance by your family, your friends, and then the mass. It takes time, everything needs to be mature for good taste, some even die in the process of removing that tag of abnormality, and the other lucky ones are accepted.
I wish all the best to those who agree and also to those who term them as a taboo as indeed they believe in what they do.
Try to respect yourself and also accept yourself, or else all you will land doing is hurt yourself.
(this blog was inspired by a show I saw recently on various so called abnormalities like homosexuality, dyslexia, anorexia, autism etc )